We all want a good provider. Someone who knows their stuff without needing to google it in front of you. Someone who knows when and how to help and when to step back. Someone who works well with their collegues and has a respectable reputation on top of their analytical maternal infant outcomes.
Even better is a provider who is good for YOU. As learned in our everyday lives, there are people we jive well with and people we dont, even if we can't put our finger on why. The same is true with our medical providers.
Birth works best when we feel safe, supported, and undisturbed. A good provider knows this, but a good-for-You provider naturally fulfills the first two objectives without trying. They likely share the same values and perspectives about birth as you.
Good providers know that for the vast majority of cases, birth works. They understand that while there are some cases that benefit from their expertise, birth is a normal and healthy biologic event in our lives, not a pathology. Good-for-You providers learn a lot about you during your prenatal visits, so that they can best assist you through your firewalk of social hiccoughs, inner battles, and anticipate your holistic needs through birth and postpartum (not just your body's needs).
You deserve a good provider.
This is a person you get to choose with your head. You can choose a good provider by asking lots of questions, comparing and contrasting their practice and philosophies with your own desires and values, and considering if enough checkboxes are getting ticked off as you weigh their responses, behaviors, and attitude.
Do they perceive birth the same way you do? Do they have low enough surgical rates? Do they have enough experience? Do they know your rights and respect them?
You also deserve a good-for-you provider.
This is a person you cannot choose with your head, because you need to feel for the connection, hone into your intuition, and pay attention to your body's response when you are with them.
Do you feel safe when you are with them? Does your body feel relaxed and open? Do you look forward to your next meeting with them and why? Does your intution say this is the provider for You?
We do not get to choose how our body feels.
We do not get to choose the intuitive messages that come through.
We do get to choose how we respond to these important cues and how willing we are to receive them. When we play with these powers, we directly impact our birth and early motherhood stories.
All mothers deserve to know the lifelong impact of a well-aligned village during this sacred time. Yes, even You.