Updated: Feb 26, 2021
Holy smokes-- I've been in an odd, uncomfortable state of being for the greater part of the past few weeks. I thought perhaps it was a manifestation of the weight of the world, and a communication that I need a stronger energetic shield. My heart has just felt sunken. I feel it in my breasts, in my chest... A sort of heaviness, an ache. I feel it in my breathe-- like I'm in a place where the right air for me doesn't exist.
I tried it all. Meditation. Journaling. Going outside. Hiking. Snuggling. Sex. Long showers. Cooking fun foods. Good company. Yogic stretches. Meditation. Dance. Music. Speaking about why I'm angry. Coffee. And today I took out my Jade and Quartz crystals for a little extra help.
I speak a lot about intuitive knowing in my work & daily life-- that voice within that rings with the wisdom of your spirit guides, of your ancestors. Admittedly, I am familiar with the not-so-fun feelings that follow ignoring that voice. When ego & desire take over, and I make decisions not out of love, but out of pleasing others instead of remaining in my integrity these feelings of despair, heaviness, sadness, anger, and guilt surface.
This ache is that. When I have decisions to make, I check in with my innner compass. Recenty, I heard my compass speak warning, and I proceeded against it anyway. Surely, you can imagine what happened next. I witnessed a series of events that put me back on my path. It was a little bit like I was a small child trying to cross the street, but was guided back to the sidewalk.
Today, I am hearing that sweet, consoling, gentle whisper from within saying "Child, you are learning. I love you." Tears flow & the ache lightens.
The answer to my discomfort is found. The lesson I am embracing is this:
We are not here in this lifetime to be perfect. We are here because we are not perfect. And nevertheless, we have a gift to offer the world.
I invite you to join me in forgiveness and compassion for the many times we betray our own boundaries in this lifetime, and to move forward with a stronger commitment to honoring our intuition.
This is my message to you to be easy with yourself. You are learning. You are loved. You are not alone.