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Ben's Rebirth~ a Story of Reclamation and Closure

Dec 22, 2017

Today marks one year since my autonomous hospital birth with my little Ben.

One year ago yesterday, I released my mucus plug at 10:30 am, and my water at approximately 10:30 pm. About 20 minutes later, I felt my first surge in my lower back, and they became closer together every contraction until I paused at 2 minutes apart for some time before I felt my transition, and birthed my son at 1:02 am.

My birth included an unnecessary hospital transfer, which then included immediate separation of me and my baby, and they wouldn't give him back to me until they were done doing weights and even an x-ray after his oxygen need was met.

During that time the doctor arrived and used forceps to visual my placenta and "traction" even though it had already detached. I waited, naked, for my baby......and waited and waited... Trying to repel the negative energy that was now in the room.

So last night, I had a rebirthing ritual.

We got ready for bed as usual. At approximately 10:30 my son spilled some water on the floor in the same room my waters released (totally an accident that I appreciated). About 20 minutes later he nursed for hours, first on and off- then constant, sending surges of oxytocin through my veins.

We were skin to skin in my bed, with my daughter. My boyfriend, who made the 911 call during my birth, was not there. We fell asleep, cradled together as both one and two people.

That was our rebirth.

My boyfriend came into the house at around 2, when my son unlatched from my breast, as my boyfriend said "he's one"-- this time with no tears to accompany his proud, slight smile. During the birth, he was the one to tell me we had a son.

Unexpectedly, our rebirth continued to have a postpartum as well. Following a few photos, my son covered himself in yogurt ("vernix") and I gave him his first bath of the day.

Now he is climbing around playing with his sister, happy as ever, and we are home, safe with our own decisions.

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