Updated: Jun 23, 2021
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed.
I know I dance with the moon - a beautiful tango between her watery essence and mine.
I spent many years reconnecting to my body, tuning into subtle expressions.
I always know when I'm going to start my bleed.
Normally, my loudest sign of opening a new cycle is a sense of restlessness. I feel a wild, fierce energy within my womb that wants to be unleashed.
Sometimes this presents as an anxious mind, but usually I just feel very fucking powerful and ache to release everything I've been holding onto, spend a day or two nesting without pants, and sipping a hot cup of tea like a Queen.
This cycle felt different - much more mellow, patient, understanding . . . Silent.
My curiosity was sparked, even though I had just a few more days before my bleed would be later than usual. The likelihood I was carrying life was slim, but present, and I always carry a small flame of hope that my next child has made the peace needed to come through.
Not this time.
Normally, I am celebrating, because I truly do love my bleeding time. But, as I noticed the first bright pink tinge against the white paper, I cried a little.
This moment was a reminder of two things:
That gratitude and grief can be present together.
I am grateful that my body is so wise and healthy. She cycles and bleeds exactly as she should. I am connected and aligned with my womb flow, swirling within the arms of Luna.
I trust my spirit babies to come through at exactly the right moments, and while I feel profound longing at times, I accept that I cannot rush them.
My last two births were building blocks, acclimating me to accepting my full power, stepping into new territory that challenges a lifetime of external belief systems, and is fueled by the passiona and wisdom of my spirit.
Each cycle in the spaces between these births are part of those building blocks, serving as a means of opportunity to connect, surrender, and trust outside of your intellectual brain.
That our cycles (and bodies) communicate in many different ways.
Periods do not need to be uncomfortable, nor does the premenstrual season.
Our bodies speak to us in many ways. Sometimes with a roar, sometimes with a whisper, and sometimes with peaceful silence.
All of it is magical.
All of it is important.
All of it is part of being a divine portal of life.
Presence is what our wombs ask of us.
On that note, I am off to bathe in stillness and sunlight with my Earthside children.
If you are interested in learning more about connecting to the cycles of your womb and with nature, check out my Guide to Fertility Awareness for the Sovereign Woman.
May you always remember your magic.
Diana and I recently had a really awesome discussion about Spirit Babies, soul connections, and a woman's incredible ability to carry spirits to the Earthplane.
Have you read my ebook?
Fertility Awareness is something that all women can have, and it is way simpler than you might think!
I created this guide for you - joining the scientific knowledge with your personal wisdom, so that you are the one leading the discover to your self and to connection to your womb.